As often happens when a big birthday comes around I’ve been doing a bit of reflecting.
40
What the...?
When did that happen?
I think we all have milestone ages that help us anchor time. And looking back now they’re often periods of change and discomfort followed by contentment and stability.
So I've been thinking about what the story of my life looks like so far...
I was born on 9 June 1978. I am the youngest of four children. My dad was a local GP and was in his surgery looking after his sick patients while my mother took herself to hospital to have me. Apparently that was normal back then.
I was nine when I moved schools and this is when my solid memories really start. I remember feeling nervous and new but then finding my feet and making friends.
I moved schools again when I was 16. Back to the anxiety but this time mixed with excitement. A boyfriend. Some teenage angst. Successes and failures. Learning all about how to live.
A gap year at 18 followed by university at 19 and then more travel at 21. Landing in Madrid completely alone, terrified, unable to communicate. Found a Irish bar showing Wimbledon, made a friend and shared some tapas over our mutual love of Tennis. Heart rate returns to normal.
First job at 22.
Didn’t. Have. A. Clue.
Learnt on the job and blagged quite a lot. Amazing leaders to aspire to and impress. I was given a chance. Responsibility. They believed even when I didn’t. Confidence grew. Opportunities taken. New horizons.
I was on my way.
Married at 29. Yet more travel but this time with the love of my life to share the ride. Memories and experiences to cherish especially now. Didn’t really appreciate that at the time.
First baby at 32. What a whirlwind of emotions that was. Then it passed and we got into our rhythm. Baby 2 created a new dimension. And then baby 3 just slotted into place. It’s a very busy place. Just the way l like it.
Redundancy at 38 was a myriad of emotions and pretty awful but now I look back and realise it was actually an amazing opportunity.
I chose not to find another job. I chose to retrain. I chose slow everything down and work out what it is I really, really want.
I had the support. I was the support. For once I realise only I could make it happen.
In a culture where age and experience isn’t always valued I know that all of the above (and all the bits in between) has shaped me into who I am today.
There have been moments of genius and also complete cock ups. Then there are the exhausting late nights and the exhilarating moments in time, the anguish and the tears, the laughter and the fun. I can’t recall everything in detail, they aren’t the milestones, but they’ve all added up to make me, me.
I would tell my younger self to enjoy the ride. That sunshine normally follows the storm. To never doubt your gut instinct. To learn something from everything. And to make the most of every minute.
So here’s to being 40. To actively creating the rest of the story and not passively watching it pass me by.
I feel the best is yet to come. Watch this space.
