Them: So, what do you do?
Me: I help middle aged people - mostly women, but not exclusively - realise how extraordinary they are so they know they can take control, create balance and be happy. I think I have the best job in the world!
Them: Oh, so what do you actually do?
Me: Well…
If you’re anything like me until five years ago the word ‘coach’ conjured up an image of tracksuits, whistles and sporting events. Or posh buses.
Back in the 1970s life coaching drew inspiration from sport and the methodologies then evolved throughout the 80s. The real tipping point was when business coaching took off in the mid 1990s.
Coaching became a way of developing people in business. There was no longer such a thing as a job for life. The workforce was on the move, looking for the best opportunities, and businesses realised that sending someone on a training course wasn’t always enough. Coaching, however, was great at helping consolidate the learning.
By 2004 coaching had emerged as a distinct profession and now, in 2020, every other person on social media seems to be a coach of some sort.
This doesn’t worry me. In fact, it excites me because never has the time been better to take a good hard look at yourself and your life and make some decisions about which way you want it to go. And the best thing is there are loads of amazing coaches out there. Every coach is different, we all have different interests and niches and use a variety of tools and approaches.
Some people can do this kind of reflection easily on their own. They set goals, take charge of their life and career, are happy and thriving.
Whereas others can’t. They know that something is wrong but they just can’t put their finger on what it is. Or they know exactly what’s wrong but they go round and round in circles trying to figure it all out and get stuck and frustrated. And they find that working with someone else helps them see things differently and achieve far greater clarity.
I will answer this from my personal point of view because all coaches have their own approach. Conversations with me are led by my clients. They are energising, empowering and focus on getting stuff done. They are always confidential.
There is no script.
Each coaching session is different from the last. As a coach I listen and respond. In some sessions I hardly talk at all. I’m just there as a sounding board. In others I ask lots and lots of questions and when a client thinks there surely can’t be another question, I normally ask another.
I might challenge my clients on what they’re saying or how they’re saying it because we’re all full of beliefs and assumptions that aren’t always true. Here's how this shows up...
I help my clients break down their goals into manageable pieces. They might have an ‘Aha!’ moment when the lightbulbs go off and everything makes sense. Or it might be more subtle than that.
I don’t hold my clients accountable for actions that they don’t take, instead I try and help them understand what it was that got in the way. When I’m pure coaching I don’t give advice either because when we find out something for ourselves it’s much stronger than if we’re told it.
My clients leave sessions energised and excited. That problem doesn’t seem quite so big now and they know how they are going to tackle it with clarity and confidence. Their successes are all their own because they've taken the action to make it happen. And I'm on the sidelines cheering them on every step of the way.
Coaching isn’t therapy. I am not qualified as a counsellor and therefore it would be very dangerous to support someone who actually needs to unlock something from their past in order to move forward. Sometimes clients press pause with me to go into therapy and come back when they’re ready to take some positive action.
Coaching isn’t mentoring either. You’d get a mentor if you wanted to be told what to do and learn from someone who has been there and done that. Mentors may also use coaching techniques.
Coaching is as unique as you are. That’s what makes it so brilliant. Coaching is a chance to take some time to put yourself at the centre of your world, decide what's important and needs action and then do something about it.
And that’s why I have the best job in the world.
Them: Right
Me: Have I answered your question?
If you'd like to learn more about me and how I became a coach then click here
If you'd like to learn more about my approach then click here
